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The Grouch - Dec 05
THE HARRODS LADY was nicely turned out in county tweeds, appropriate for the day and the location. Her dog was well turned out too, with it’s Robertson Tartan doggy coat. My dog gave her dog a wide berth because he tends to be a bit of a snob, or at least, he is a reverse snob, coming as he does from a working class family. The leaves were on the turn that day and I was at peace with my world, that was until the drama unfolded.
Like me, she was walking her dog around the wee Faskally Loch tracks near Pitlochry. Nature called and the tartan clad doggy performed, as even the best bred dogs have to from time to time. But not on the footpath! I ask you - on the footpath? Even my dog was shocked as he gave the area a wide berth, I could hear him thinking to himself, “dirty little dog.”
But our criticism was premature, for “her ladyship” opened her handbag and took out a crumpled shopping bag of the thin plastic type. It was a tasteful colour of green, which was unusual because they are more usually white with Mace or Spar lettered on them. “Good” I thought: a well brought up citizen doing the right thing and “bagging and binning”, as Perth and Kinross Council urge us to do.
Dog Poo is a problem particularly in urban areas where dogs can be thick on the ground as well as their calling cards, if you know what I mean. My faith in human nature was restored as our paths diverged only to catch up on the road back to the carpark. Then, quick as a flash, and with a flick of the wrist, I saw her toss the green bag under a roadside bush where it hung limply, steaming ever so slightly. She saw me just at that point and, blushing to the roots, she jumped into her 4x4 and sped off.
That ruined my day. I vowed to start carrying my wee camera with me in the hopes that I might catch another wayward citizen doing the same foul thing. The thought that I could catch them on film, present the evidence to the authorities and have them hauled before the courts, gave me a devious thrill. I can see the headlines now in Comment or the Courier: “Local Lady Fined for Execrable Act.
Not that the dog owners in Aberfeldy are much better. I counted no less that seven wee plastic packages lurking under the bushes in and around the paths across the golf course, just the other day - not that I was counting, I have better things to do! It’s high time that the comic singers in our Scottish Executive adopt the widespread use of ASBO’s or whatever they call them. You know, the banning orders slapped on folk who make a nuisance of themselves. I mean, where is this going to end? We pay through the nose for our Council Taxes to erect red Poo Collection Bins all over the place, and then these people come along and deliberately throw their foul bags under the nearest bush because it isn’t “nice” to be seen carrying it in public. Having bagged it, why can’t they just do the right thing and bin it?
Anyway, I’m away to put a film in my wee camera and take my dog for his walk. He, by the way, is a very well organised big dog! He disappears into the thick undergrowth and always comes back with a smile in his face. Now, that’s breeding for you! Green plastic Hotrod’s bags indeed!
by Alex Peak
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