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Postcard from Cairo

Think of Edinburgh. No. That’s too ‘nice’. Think of Glasgow. Think of Glasgow without traffic lights, stop signs, white and yellow lines, zebra crossings, with seven million drivers who have never had to take a driving test, and who won’t drive on the right if there is a gap on the left, who never service their pollution pumping vehicles, where 85 degrees is considered cool, and you’ll have some idea of Cairo.

There are, of course, plenty of police officers. They sit and stand in groups at street corners, smoking with rifles over their shoulders, chatting on mobiles, and expecting small bribes for anything they do.  I was asked to bring plenty of cheap ballpoint pens to give away to child beggars.

I had handed out a few dozen one day and was preparing to drive off  (I had been given a car and a driver by the school at which I was working) when a policeman walked to the front of the car and stood with his arms folded preventing us moving. The driver spoke to him. “He wants a pen,” the driver explained, “and you’ll have to give him some money.”

The International School at which I worked is not International at all and was exclusively for the children of very rich Egyptians. One of the lessons I observed was based on a forgotten battle in the Wars Of The Roses. Every single classroom had an armed security guard sitting outside. None of the staff to whom I spoke had any real idea of the guards’ purpose.  There were certainly no discipline problems in the school, just as there are no crime problems in the city itself. You will be continually hassled for money, but you will never be robbed. 

There are plenty of stories about police brutality, and a strong belief that offenders are often taken deep into the desert and left there. In Cairo, the fear of crime has been replaced by the fear of getting caught.

However, Cairo has one enviable plus.  When you fill up your gas-guzzler with 20 gallons of petrol, it will cost you around £7.00 And having breakfast overlooking the Nile is an experience that makes the rest worthwhile.